I won't write a Will — my family won't fight!

Being optimistic is great, but being blind — not so much. Everyone is emotional about their family; everybody hopes nothing wrong will happen; everyone prays for peace and harmony. All these thoughts make sense, but there is always a possibility of life jumping up behind you and shouting a 'surprise' every now and then.

I have come across several clients who, in their first meeting, told me they have two sons who are like Ram and Laxman — full of respect and love for each other. And then the same client has come back a few years later, telling us they now realise their sons are Raavans.

I know of a gentleman in his mid-60s who gifted his house and business to his children during his lifetime. His children not only fought day in and day out, but were so inconsiderate that they threw their ageing parents out of the very house the old couple had built with love — hoping that one day the whole family would live in it together, happily.

When Ram — the perfect man, perfect king and God — was not spared, then who are we? Mere mortals, after all. My colleague and business partner Dipti once told me a popular Gujarati folktale. An old lady lived with her big family and guarded a heavy steel box, making a family member move it to a safer place each day. It rattled and felt heavy, so everyone believed she held great wealth and took good care of her. When she died, the family opened the box at once — only to find coins, pebbles and worthless trinkets. Isn't there a lesson in that?

I normally advise my clients not to gift everything to their children during their lifetime. I always tell them to write a Will and let the devolution happen when the time is right.

Over the years we have seen empires destroyed by family infighting and businesses die an infamous death — and still we don't want to learn. None of this is about not providing for your family. I only advise clients to be wise and responsible, more than emotional, when it comes to money matters.

There is a saying in Marathi: "Taat dyava pun Paat nahi" — offer a plate of food to the needy, not your own seat. Do you agree?